a
note from the Editor...
As always, if you have any good news or tips
to share, please contact me via email using the
webform or Call me 315-796-7559. We are always looking for information or
announcements for our newsletters.
Warmly,
Carol Babicz
The
next Home Group meeting- TBA
Join us for our next home meeting!! Please
call Carol at 315-796-9559 to find out more and/or confirm your attendance and
get directions to her home if you need them. Behavior
Management with the “Hard to Raise” Child
We all believe that
we have had, at one time or another, the child whose behavior is worse than ANY
other child. This is the child who often misbehaves seemingly on purpose. These
kinds of children can drive us up the walls, and may even push us to the point
of wanting to have the child removed from our home. Before you get to that point,
read and put to use the ABC’s of Behavior Management listed below. Age
appropriate behaviors- We need to have age appropriate expectations. We also need
to make age appropriate demands of the children. Behaviors- specific actions.
Be specific when describing what the child does. Don’t just say that he/she
is disruptive. Say that he/.she is kicking, screaming, etc. whatever the child
is exactly doing. Ask exactly what the child is doing if their teacher complains
about the behavior. All behaviors are learned and can be unlearned. Consequences-
all behaviors have consequences. Punishment doesn’t work with most of these
children. Most seem to respond well to rewards. Use positive consequences. Usually,
children will work towards things. Directions- when you ask your child to
clean their room, be very specific. They need to know your definition of clean.
Say “I would really like if you picked up all your clothes and made your
bed.” Emotional state- Our emotional state. Take care of your emotional
health. Feelings- Your child has every right to feel what they are feeling.
Let them OWN their feelings. However, control how they react. Say “OK you’re
angry at me.” “You have a right to be angry, but you do not have the
right to hit someone.” Buy a punching bag or designate appropriate things
they can hit (pillow, stuffed animal) and USE it. Gender- Boys and girls
can be different. Most boys
need trust, not over-nurturing. Most girls need
caring, not over-trust. Most boys forget, your job is to fix and focus. Most girls
verbally process and remember, so talk it out with them. Houses- Kids have
a “safe” home, a place where they feel they can go to and won’t
be bothered. If your child says they are going to run away, they probably have
a place in mind they are going to go. Intent- Don’t react the same
way to accidents as you would intentional behaviors. Jail- Punishment-
make it age appropriate, and with time limits. If using “time out” the
rule is one minute for each year of the child’s age. Knowing- know
everything there is to know about your child. Know the “5 Aces” (running
away, truancy, suicide threats, threats or acts of violence, disrespect) and be
prepared for them. Make sure consequences are harsh enough and FOLLOW THROUGH
with them. Read Scott Sells’ book “Treating the tough adolescent: A
family-based step-by- step guide.” Lifeline-Someone you can depend
on to take over for a little while or you can talk to. This is where our association
can help. We have experienced foster and adoptive parents you can talk to or ask
to take over for a little while to give you a break. Me time-give YOURSELF
a “time out”. Take 20 min. without anybody, just for yourself. Noting-
Take note of what the child does positively and ACKNOWLEDGE it. Remember to WRITE
notes of the child’s incidents in your foster care notes so that you can
share with professionals and case workers if needed. Important
Reminders from Oneida County - It is important to develop medical
files on the children in our care. Please remember medical, dental and vision
checkups. If your children have life boxes, keep all records there. If you do
not have a life box for your child, you can obtain one from their case worker.
- SAVE
ALL CLOTHING RECEIPTS and receipts for anything that you purchase specifically
for your foster child.
Other News Oneida County has to Share
-They are
redoing the visitation rooms. They are also planning protocols around visitation.
(Who does what, when, where and why.)
-Training- In 2 parent families, both
foster parents DO NOT have to attend in order to get credit for the household.
Children
Freed for Adoption in Oneida County
Oneida
County currently has children that ARE freed for adoption. To see their pictures
and learn more about these children or others that are freed for adoption, contact
the adoption unit at the Oneida County Office Building. Here are a few of the
children. These are ONLY a few. There are MANY children from all over the United
States who are freed for adoption. Remember that you can view the Blue Books at
the county office building, your public library or online at http://www.ChildrenAwaitingParents.org.
Type in the number of the child’s case # to see their listing.
George- # I-808
Born May 1993. George is a likable 12 yr old
Caucasian boy who desires to be part of a family. George enjoys watching movies
and playing outside on the playground. He does try to please those around him
especially the adults. George is in the sixth grade in a small special education
classroom. He takes great pride in his school work but does require extra help
and attention which a
regular education program cannot provide to him. His
reading level is 6th grade and his math is at the 1st grade level. George has
a mild psychiatric issue that he is on medication for. He is also on medication
to help control his aggressive behaviors which have been verbal but not physical.
He has weekly therapy to help him deal with this impulsivity and focusing. Currently,
he has had no incidents of verbal aggression. George has several brothers and
sisters that he is connected with and he will need to continue the visits with
his siblings. Contact with his siblings is very important to him which he will
need to continue once he is adopted. George needs a stable, nurturing family to
help him develop appropriate skills to progress in his life. He would benefit
from a loving and caring family who can guide him to stay on task, help him stay
focused, and to give him positive reinforcement.
Terrell-
#J-707
Born Sept. 1991, Terrell is a handsome, engaging 14 yr old African-American
male with beautiful eyes with long lashes and a winning smile. He plays the clarinet
and plays pick-up football and enjoys swimming. Terrell likes video games and
his computer time. He is very good at yahtzee and gets a special thrill when he
beats staff. He also draws, does calligraphy and puzzles. Terrell has a great
sense of humor and often can be somewhat of a prankster in the company of grown-ups.
He is a good student and placed in the 9th grade. He is reading on the 7th grade
level and his math level is 6th grade. He is placed in the low-average range of
functioning but tries his best and usually is successful at comprehending in both
his reading and math. Terrell is receiving counseling for his anger management
and is learning to build trust around the people in his life. Terrell tries to
please those adults around him and can form close relationships. He is on medication
for a mild psychiatric issue and functions well on this medication. He is able
to focus on the task before him and will usually complete them in the time needed.
He has a younger sister who is also freed. The goal is to have him adopted with
his younger sister. He will do well in a family that has structure and can show
affection. A loving and caring active family would suit Terrell and Des’Jenee’s
needs.
Children From other counties who are freed for adoption-These children
are from other counties. You may call 1-888-835-8802 to request more information
about these children.
Lauren- #FL 9756 D
Lauren, born October 1991.
Lauren is a bright and intelligent young lady who is wise beyond her years. She
likes to watch scary movies, go shopping and eat pizza. Lauren loves people and
animals; her favorite animals are dogs. Lauren is in 8th grade and excels in school,
receiving straight A’s. She is excited about adoption and hopes to become
part of a loving family that enjoys activities and going on trips. Lauren would
be a positive addition to any family, especially one that is sensitive to her
needs and would share her zest for life. Subsidy and purchase of service are possibilities.
Chad- # FL 9762 B
Chad was born in June 1996. Adorable Chad is a
lovable, warm-hearted child who is bursting with energy! He loves riding his bike,
playing with toy trucks and building with legos. Chad is constantly thinking about
what he wants to be when he grows up; two of his favorite options are a tow truck
driver or a fire fighter. Chad is in 3rd grade and is enrolled in special education
for emotional and academic support. Chad is extremely excited about being adopted.
He needs a family who can provide him with lots of supervision and attention.
A love-filled home with an abundance of guidelines and energy would be the
perfect fit for a sweet little boy like Chad. Subsidy and purchases of service
are possibilities.
Jakwaan- # NY 9829 D
Jakwaan was born in April
of 1994. Jakwaan has an infectious laugh and huge smile that will win your heart!
He is an imaginative boy who enjoys creating characters, telling stories and running
around outside. Jakwaan is in the 6th grade and is enrolled in special education
classes. He enjoys school and is proud of his academic accomplishments. Jakwaan
has suffered many losses in his young life and as a result struggles with attachment
issues and controlling his impulses. He is learning how to better manage his emotions
and is doing well managing his behavior. Jakwaan is looking forward to being adopted;
he says that he would love a family that has pets and other children for him to
play with. Jakwaan will make a wonderful addition to an energetic and structured
family that can offer him consistency, commitment, and unconditional love. Subsidy
and purchase of service are possibilities.
Respite
Care
There is a GREAT need for this service. Are you willing to offer
respite care for foster parents who are in need? Contact Carol at 797-9553 or
at catylina71@aol.com. She will be making a list for the next newsletter.
Something to share
If
you have something to share with everyone and would like to see it in the newsletter,
please contact Carol at 797-9553. Congratulations!!!!!!
At
the end of 2005, Sean and Carol Babicz adopted their 6 year old son Jesse. Sean
and Carol would like to thank the employees of the Oneida County Dept. of Soc.
Services, with special acknowledgement to Vaughn Saunders and Mark Squire for
all of their expertise, hard work and for sharing in the families’ joy. Join
Our E-Group
Keep up to date on the latest news and events.. Ask questions…
get answers!
Our e-mail group makes communication with all of us more efficient.
You can get answers to your questions from more than one person by sending only
one email! Also, if you have a question and you do not know who to ask, just email
the group. This is only for our foster & adoptive families. If you are interested
in becoming a member of our group,
contact Dawn Corrigan, Email
Web form or call her at (315)724-2989
Archives: Fall
2005 Newsletter
Winter 2005 Newsletter
Spring
2006 Newsletter
Fall 2006 Newsletter
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2007 Newsletter | 
